What
Gals Really Want for Christmas!
By Matthew C. Keegan
Okay, guys: listen up! I am here to tell you what
women want for Christmas. You probably already
know it, but you don't understand it. What am
I saying? Well, those little ads that have been
mysteriously popping up on your dresser, on your
workbench, or plastered to the windshield of your
truck did not get there by accident. Somebody
who wants you to pay close attention to what she
really wants put it there. You don't think the
wind blew it there do you? Oh, please! Let's go
down the list and find out what your lady really
wants for Christmas. I abbreviated everything
for clarity and to be concise. That means the
27 items she really wants are condensed to just
five. Get it?
1. Jewelry - You had to ask?
What woman doesn't want something shiny to wear
on her fingers, around her neck, her wrist, her
anklet, her belly button...Okay, I'm not talking
custom jewelry either. I'm talking about something
that will retain its shine in all weather conditions
and can be counted in the number of karats it
possesses. You can count on it setting you back
at least through the following June, probably
as late as Thanksgiving...
2. Chocolate - Milk chocolate
just doesn't cut it, fellas. Better for you to
pick it up by the brand: Peregina, Godiva, and
Richart are a few that come to mind. Yeah, get
her the little stocking stuffer Santa chocolates
too. She'll think that you are being real sweet!
3. To the Islands! Okay, time
to splurge. Go all out and book that early February
vacation to Paradise. You know you will need it
by time that the 17th measurable snowstorm plasters
your driveway. Oh, by the way, no matter how much
she thinks that the kids should come along, make
arrangements with your parents to come and spend
the week at your house. If the kiddies come down
with the flu at least they will be in a familiar
environment with adults who will spoil them rotten!
4. Spa Membership - This one
gets tricky. If you give her a spa membership,
she will say that you think she is getting fat/old/wrinkly,
etc. You're walking in dangerous territory, men!
Better yet, make sure that it is a place where
her friends already hang out. Tell her you want
her to have regular quality time with her girlfriends.
She won't buy your pitch, but she'll join especially
when you present her with the other gift that
she wants: chocolate.
5. Stuff for her minivan. You
know how hard it is for you to summon up courage
to drive the family van, right? Especially after
driving your Dakota all week. Who wants to be
caught driving that thing? She does! This is where
you really have to die to self: give her spark
plugs and spark plug wires for Christmas and leave
it at that. Just kidding. Better to find the name
brand auto parts she really wants: floor mats,
seat covers, pet pads, etc. All the frilly little
things that make her vehicle, well, her own.
Are you still not sure what she wants? Then just
look. That advertisement on your workbench is
open to the page for the item she wants... the
one with the big, red circle around it. So, just
get it and leave it at that. If you do, you'll
be singing, "peace on earth and goodwill
toward men" in no time. Merry Christmas!
About the Author
Matt Keegan is madcap auto enthusiast and contributing
writer for PitStop
Auto Parts, a seller of discount auto accessories
including Catco converter and Taylor wires for
your motor vehicle.
Need more gift giving ideas? Here's
another article:
Great
Gift Idea for Everyone and Every Occassion
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